Tag Archives: loneliness

Passengers

23 Jan

Image source:http://roundtheplace.com/Street
I own no rights.

 
 
Life is like a train journey:
 
If you only keep staring at your own reflection on the window, you will never see the wonderful landscapes outside.
 

So gape in awe. And travel safe, wherever you are, to dreamlands and airports and each others arms!

Advertisements

Lingering – Romantic Monday

21 Jan

Into The Horizon Logo

 

Right at this moment, someone is being kissed. Someone smiles. Someone falls in love.

Someone utters their goodbyes and walks away,  tucks an escaped string of hair behind their ear, for safe-keeping. Till the day comes they find love again, find that they have picked that abandoned string of hair up and are twirling it around their finger, daydreaming.

Right now, someone is dreaming. And someone’s dreams come true. Someone says I do. Or somewhere, a baby cries out for the first time.

For love never ends. Not even when it’s silent. It only pauses to catch its breath, to start again.

 

Wishing you a hopefilled Romantic Monday!

 

Lingering

 

Your echo alive on my pillow

In hair and teardrops

Those little ripples of closeness

You left behind

Rising to waves in my sleep

Mirages of waterfalls

You pooled out of your eyes

A cry of goodbye so strong

I can still feel your tears

Watering my dreams

Droplets of your life

Flowing in me

On my skin, at night

Reflecting the shine of shooting stars

A glitter blanket of love

Why not me?

17 Nov

“My child died, very suddenly. I could never understand it but I never asked: “Why me?” Instead I asked: “Why not me?” It could happen to anyone so why should it not happen to me?”

Above is a father’s quote from a newspaper article I read recently, after a very tragic accident that killed his little child. It left me totally amazed at this man’s bravery and wisdom to see his loss in such a different light. It taught me a valuable life lesson, better than all the advice I have ever read about moving on and coping with hardships. It is this simple mantra of life: “Why not me?”

When we struggle, we always try to find answers by asking the why question.

“Why me, why this way, why now?”

Sound familiar? I know I have done it so many times. But if I could find that father, I would shower him in smiles and gratitude. Because his wisdom made me realise the danger of “Why me?”. While it is a natural reaction to a negative, unexpected obstacle or a trouble, it can also make you block the world out.  It will make you try to justify your troubles by finding answers in you.

And  that can lead us to create a pulping well of self-pity and worthlessness. We start feeling like we have done something wrong. We must have! Why else would this be happening to us? We start feeling that somehow, we deserve this horrible thing, this unhappiness.

But I want to tell you now: That is an illusion. Obstacle is just a circumstance. It is not your quality, not your innate trait. It does not mean you deserve unhappiness. It is just something that came your way. And a way to move past it, to fight back, is to follow the footsteps of the brave father above and ask:

Photocredit: nborlando.org

This question has been a revolution to me. No actually, more like an evolution. It has taught me a totally new way to assemble my worries.

Asking ‘Why not me?’ makes you open up to the world. It makes you look at your neigbour and think: This could have happened to him too. But still, I would not wish the same struggles for him. So why not me?

It makes you look around and realise that you’re not alone. That somewhere, someone is crying just like you are. That somewhere, someone is laughing just like you are.

The biggest illusion we have in life is that others won’t understand us. That our hardships are our own hardships.  But they’re not. There is over seven billion individuals dwelling around this planet right now so it is very likely you share experiences with them. That makes our hardships everyone’s hardships. This way, you can see you’re not alone and you can see the value of sharing a load. Be comforted by this.

“Why not me?”  will make you find perspective. Make you realise that you do not need to overscale your troubles, you do not need to tell people that they can’t possibly understand your suffering, just to show them how much you hurt or how stressed you are. You can show that by simply telling them what is wrong. And you might be surprised to find they have something to share with you too.

The photocredit: silverhuang.com
Caption edited in by me.

“Why not me?” can also make you see other people as they are, as people. It can stop you from making rushed judgements.

It is easy to look at a homeless person and think he is a hopeless alcoholic. It is easy to look at a parent having three jobs and think they’re neglecting their child. It is easy to look at someone overweight with two bags full of crisps and think they’re doing nothing to change their unhealthy lives.

And why is it so easy? Because our brain functions on learnt stereotypes, that is how it makes sense of the world. But you can break those stereotypes, those unpurposeful judgements. You can do it by introducing your brain a new way of making sense of the world:

“Why not me?”

That is a reality call ringing in your head. It can help you realise that these people have stories too, just like you do.

That homeless man might have children, he might have a top degree in maths but never had a full-time job. And that parent, juggling too many part-time jobs, she might be a single mum, trying to scrape money for bills, healthy food and her child’s school supplies. That man you thought fat and lazy, he might be comfort eating because his parents have just died and he does not know who he could turn to.

“Why not me?” makes you realise: That person you judged by outer appearance could be you.

And you can also be the person they can turn to.

You can help and be helped. You do not need to be alone. You can turn your obstacles into a source of strength.

So why don’t you?

Why not you?

In search for words

24 Oct

I have found myself at loss the past few days. I have reflected back on my old mistakes, looked forward to my dreams, but at the same time felt totally incapable of doing anything about either. It worries me. Because while I still have great spasms of inspiration and excitement, while I still know in my heart I need to work hard to achieve my dreams and to contribute in making this world a better place, by making myself a better person, at this moment all I wonder is how? How I’m going to do all this?

That is the question that bothers me the most. Because when you don’t know the why’s and the how’s, the reasons behind your feeling of tiredness or hurt or disappointment, it is hard to regain your sense of direction. It is hard to have a plan and then work the plan. Quite often you leave yourself there, in your anguish, not because you like to self-pity or don’t want to change things, but because you don’t know how to do it.

First, all you have to do is get to know yourself again. To put your work aside and work on you. Because if you don’t know who you are, you will never know who you can be. What you can achieve.

That is what I’m doing now. Getting to know myself, reflecting back on things. I realised I have been too busy doing this and that and everything to notice that many things have changed in my life during the past three years. That I have changed with them. I realised that in my will to look forward, I forgot to look back.

I think we are sometimes pushed too much to progress, to be all we can be and carpe diem every moment that is given to us. I think sometimes we push ourselves too much, papering the walls of our hearts with millions of to do-lists. But if all we do is charge forward, we might well forget the way back home. We have to know, in all our hurry to improve, how to get back to ourselves. What is the way to our hearts, where is the quiet place for looking back and resolving who you are. In all honesty, and in all kindess.

Looking back doesn’t need to be a guilt-trip to all your mistakes, it can be a learning curve to avoid the speed bumbs in the future.

That is what I’m doing now, trying to judge myself less and teach myself more. I’m polishing the mirror to see myself clearer. Because I don’t want to feel lonely in myself. I believe none of us do. Because if we are lonely in ourselves we can never be truly happy in others or in life.

That is also the reason I have scattered here some advice, in the form of photos and beautiful quotes. So that we never forget the lessons we have learnt and the ones we still can learn. So that we feel more consoled, in our search for words and for understanding. So that we remember, those wise words live in us and we can find them, always, if we just find ourselves.

What is the advice you would give to yourself today?