Tag Archives: happiness

Small but significant

26 Mar

There has been many thoughts swirling in my mind lately, too many to find words for them. Big changes are happening, like the news that I get to move to Scotland next September to study in University of Edinburgh. I am so excited!

But today, I found my words again. I found my way back home, back here. The feeling was quite magical.

I was sitting on a bench by the sea, gazing out to the horizon. Wind started blowing wilder and as I sat there, I took a moment to just empty my mind. I closed my eyes for a while and I tried to inhale the light of the spring sun climbing higher. Slowly, the insides of my eyelids became patterned with patches of blue light. I assumed this to be the sky shining through to my vision. But as I opened my eyes, I found that the sea had broken free. Where before there had been just a vast, blank canvas of ice, a distant and cold glacier, there was now the sea. It was deep blue and it spread. I stood up and as I gazed at the sea growing, I felt that I was in a right place, at a right time. I belonged but I was free to go. I thanked the sea for making me feel whole.

Just before the sea broke out in the distance, I took this photo with my phone:

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You can see that little black figure on the left, under the big cloud? Not much bigger than a black dot. Smaller than the rocks, smaller than the skies. Well, that is you and me. That is a human being. Small maybe, but significant too. Cherished for its ability to love, for its foolish pleasure of treading on the ice. The ice, it carried this person into safety, into the land. Only then did the sea free itself.

And it reminded me of how we are part of this whole entirety, how it carries us in its chain, even when we feel or act like the weakest link. And of how we should always respect the nature, for we belong, for we are enveloped by it.

We can choose to be the sun’s mirror. We can choose to be a willow’s branch, bent by the wind but not snapping.

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Hummingbird Blinks – A Romantic Monday post

28 Jan

 
Again our favourite day of the week! Or if you still think Mondays are dull, click here and see what kind of  fantastic poetic love-rave is happening every week! It has cured me from my Monday syndrome permanently.

Nothing like a good dose of love and writing to keep you smiling, eh?

 

Hummingbird Blinks

 
Your eyes, their golden hue

Grasps at my past

That chameleon cocktail

Scattered across my mind

Memories in ruin

Like blazing terracotta ash

Now changing their skin

Cooled by green-tinted twilights

Your knees, magnets of spring

Fresh grass running to stain them

Your gaze,  holding me in place

As I grow mesmerised

By  the little vapours of breath

Escaping your lips

Their shadows in the evening air

Like a phoenix rising

To cover me with its wings

Then we startle ourselves

Awake again

With hummingbird blinks

Watch shy smiles being born

And in that akward suddenness

My breath too is relieved

Finally pushing past the past

To become mixed with your breath

A love potion stirring in the wind

Nature of Happiness

16 Jan

Deep below, under the stubborn ice and mouths frozen shut, the roots of life still linger. Slowly, they string their fine fingers upwards, infiltrate the army of snow flakes besieging us. Those fingers, you can feel them caressing your skin when you fall your cheek pressed to the iron-cold ground; sprigs and sprouts of onion being born, the sweet-tasting sap brewing, the birch babies and oak saplings still playing hide-and-seek, until the day that earth’s anticipation, its certainty of spring stronger than thousand ice ages, breaks all winter’s barriers and blossoms into light leaves of coltsfoot, pansy, primrose and thistle. But not quite yet my dear, not quite yet. First, we have to live through this concerto of whispering winds, nothing but rumours of life budding. That way we can have two summers; one blossoming in our ears and one, in time, blooming up from undeground, inviting us to a flower field dance.  

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Waiting for the spring is a sweet expectation, it is like waiting at the train station for an old friend to arrive. Peace and love, and warmth to melt your winter fingers! Take care.

A Tidal Wave – Starting over, DP Challenge

15 Jan

This weeks Writing Challenge:

” Making a new start is never as simple as it seems on paper. It’s easy to talk about losing a few pounds or giving up the job you hate to weave animal-shaped baskets on a tropical island, but less so to make it happen, and keep at it.

In this week’s writing challenge, we’re asking you to write a short piece of creative writing (fiction/poetry/prose poetry/freeform mindjazz/whatever floats your boat) on the theme of Starting Over.”

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A Tidal Wave

Forest's bark teeth 
Chew away the distant rumble
Of the cars and crowded skyscrapers
Leisurely the breathing pillars grin
Tickled by the treecreeper
Its light-feathered scrambling
Pirouetting my head higher
Till I'm taken to that line
Where all elements blend
Into fine-fibred mists
A vivid palette of an alchemist
An elastic dance of coexistence
Symbiosis, harmony, me
My heartbeat suddenly
In rhythm, a drum of life
Beating even the steepest
Steps of happiness
Its pulse flowing through me
In rushing rollercoasters of blood
Awakening in me
A tidal wave of new beginnings 

When life gives you lemons, make lemon-meringue

13 Jan

I have learnt an important lesson this weekend. And a tasty one too. Here it is, take a look:

Lemon-meringue pie, also called YAMMY!

Lemon-meringue pie, also called YAMMY!

Macarons with lemon marmalade filling

Macarons with lemon marmalade filling

After my latest kitchen catastrophe, which involved a baking tray set in fire, and all the times I have called myself “the girl who even failed at making Rice Krispie cakes”, I decided to do something different.
So I whipped up a lemon-meringue pie and even braved myself to make macarons, those little cakes that can apparently go wrong in million different ways and make baking art. When I told my sister about my intention to battle these cutely coloured but bad-tempered sweets, she actually gasped a little bit. She probably started designing an emergency escape plan righ there and then, with an appropriate bomb shelter mapped on it just in case I blew up the kitchen.

But guess what?

I managed to make them, and they were delicious! And *drum rolls please* …so was the cake! And out of everyone who ate them, I think I was the most surprised by this. Because I had held this view about myself for so long, this thought that I’m not precise enough person to cook or bake. Yes, I admit, I am still clumsy and there was flour all over the walls. But they were the flag of victory I threw in the air! Because I realised, I had been wrong about myself.

So, when life gives you lemons, make some lemon-meringue.

Firstly, because it’s delicious! And secondly, because I guess it is how they say: You never know just how strong and brave you are before you find yourself pushed out of your comfort zone.
So, when life sets you challenges, don’t be afraid to rise up to them! Remember to dust your beliefs about yourself every once in a while. Otherwise you might miss the little things, like my new tiny best friend le macaron, that give you the opportunity to see the world in a different light!
So be pleased to meet yourself, every day, with a smile and fresh eyes. You might just find you’re stronger, more creative, more surprising than you ever imagined.

And if sometimes you try and try and things still go wrong, don’t feel bad. Just make some more meringue. Then at least you have a cake to eat. This is a win-win plan right here.

Believe in yourself? But how?

29 Nov

I have a solution to all your problems.

Okay, I’ll admit, despite this grand start: I’m not going to promise you hundred new, innovative ways to blend your vegetables or one, quick and easy route to abs as hard as James Bond, the way they do on every tele shopping channel. Heck, I’m not going to lie to you. This might not be easy or quick, but I’m pretty sure it can help you. It helped me, hugely. It resolved all the worry-knots of my heart. This is it:

Self-validation.

I have realised that this is all that you need in life, a bit of self-validation. Giving yourself credit for what you have achieved. Accepting yourself, asking acceptance and love from inside and not from your friends, landlady, postman and your Twitter followers.

It sounds a bit like the “Believe in yourself” that you have heard before, that results in 282 000 hits in Google, I know. I didn’t think I could make this post important at first, but then I realised I need to talk about this, that I want to! Because I realised there is one massive difference. And I want to make people see this difference, want them to have the same blissful feeling I had. This is the difference:

Self-validation is not the synonym of believing in yourself. It’s the basis for it, the foundation. To have self-confidence, you first need self-acceptance.

Realising this was a huge relief to me. Because I have been struggling with this believing in myself-thing. That’s also why I want to talk to you about this, because I think there might be others who feel the same way.

Believe in optimism? Check.

Believe in life? Check.

Believe love exists? Check.

Believe in myself? Uh oh. I don’t know.

I want to give love to the world so why can I not give it to myself?  Sound familiar?

Well, there is nothing wrong with you, or with me, no reason why you couldn’t believe in yourself. You have just maybe gone a bit amiss with finding the way. I know I have, I have tried to climb that tree from the top. There is only so many times one can reach for the moon from the top of the highest tree only to fall into a mud-pond head first. But I want to tell you now:

Maybe you have fallen so that you can look at things from the right perspective. You have fallen so that you can finally start climbing that tree of self-acceptance steadily, from the bottom. Just as it should be.

And I don’t think we’re missing much from getting to the top, to the point of believing in yourself. I think  all that we’re missing is that crucial little ‘in’.

I think the only reason we don’t believe in ourselves is because we believe ourselves too faithfully.

We believe ourselves on those weak moments at 3am when our only company is the still-blank Word document that has not blossomed words, not even after ten cups of coffee (and those two energy drinks). We believe that we can’t write then. And when it’s grim and rainy and gloomy we believe we carry that greyness on our face, when we tell to the mirror that we don’t look nice. We believe ourselves when we think we can’t sing or run or dance. When we think that we’re indecisive, awkward or a bit lazy.

We believe our inner-critic. And then we wonder why we don’t believe in ourselves.  But who would, who would believe in themselves whilst carrying a  nasty, judging troll inside their mind, one that always wants to start a mosh-pit of guilt in your head? One that never pipes down.

But to silence that inner-critic, I want to tell you:

Those are your beliefs. In fact, all the beliefs about you are yours. All of them. Even the stuff you think other people think about you. That is your beliefs too. The way you think others see you just reflects the way you see yourself.

So, next time someone says something hurtful to you,  you can choose if you let those words make you miserable. Because you have a choice. You don’t need to welcome those words, you don’t need to accept them in your heart anymore.

You’re only going to take that nasty blow of life to heart if you believe it, and only then can it knock your heart out. But if you accept yourself, if you change the way you “believe yourself”, if you question your beliefs and your inner-critic,  it is a whole new world. 

A world of love and bravery. A world of peace and acceptance. All inside you.

So start climbing that tree, even if you’re scared of heights. Because that is what you have waiting for you! Move from believing yourself into believing in yourself.

Come with me, I’m climbing. And I have messed up something as easy as Rice Krispie cakes. So if I can do it, so can you!

Do you want to see that world?

 

 

Killing Skeletons

8 Nov

This piece I wrote together with Hastywords (check out her beautiful work!), my first poetry duet ever yay!  Thanks for the amazing writing company, Hasty. There is nothing to refresh your creativity and perspective like brainstorming ideas and getting together with someone. So my advice for you today is: Don’t be alone in life. Everyone here has something precious to give.

 

Killing skeletons

I walk the halls of endless nights

Looking for the perfect escape

Conversations shouting at me

Scattered behind each door

 

And the words, pawing sniffing

Scampering words of past come

Knocking down my soul, they ask

Why would we let you pass?

 

A cacophony of accusations

Scratching clawing behind the walls

Skeletons tired of picking bones

Clamoring to see the light of day

 

Hungry they wait till I break

Their ribcages and transform them

Into boats of fond remembrance

Watch them float into future

 

The hallways vacant and silent now

All the ghostly prisoners set free

I open all the windows

Allowing new visions to take shape

 

Till my soul is filled with nakedness

And the happiness hot on my eyelids

Forges me a new sight

Till all is bathed bare and fresh