Believe in yourself? But how?

29 Nov

I have a solution to all your problems.

Okay, I’ll admit, despite this grand start: I’m not going to promise you hundred new, innovative ways to blend your vegetables or one, quick and easy route to abs as hard as James Bond, the way they do on every tele shopping channel. Heck, I’m not going to lie to you. This might not be easy or quick, but I’m pretty sure it can help you. It helped me, hugely. It resolved all the worry-knots of my heart. This is it:

Self-validation.

I have realised that this is all that you need in life, a bit of self-validation. Giving yourself credit for what you have achieved. Accepting yourself, asking acceptance and love from inside and not from your friends, landlady, postman and your Twitter followers.

It sounds a bit like the “Believe in yourself” that you have heard before, that results in 282 000 hits in Google, I know. I didn’t think I could make this post important at first, but then I realised I need to talk about this, that I want to! Because I realised there is one massive difference. And I want to make people see this difference, want them to have the same blissful feeling I had. This is the difference:

Self-validation is not the synonym of believing in yourself. It’s the basis for it, the foundation. To have self-confidence, you first need self-acceptance.

Realising this was a huge relief to me. Because I have been struggling with this believing in myself-thing. That’s also why I want to talk to you about this, because I think there might be others who feel the same way.

Believe in optimism? Check.

Believe in life? Check.

Believe love exists? Check.

Believe in myself? Uh oh. I don’t know.

I want to give love to the world so why can I not give it to myself?  Sound familiar?

Well, there is nothing wrong with you, or with me, no reason why you couldn’t believe in yourself. You have just maybe gone a bit amiss with finding the way. I know I have, I have tried to climb that tree from the top. There is only so many times one can reach for the moon from the top of the highest tree only to fall into a mud-pond head first. But I want to tell you now:

Maybe you have fallen so that you can look at things from the right perspective. You have fallen so that you can finally start climbing that tree of self-acceptance steadily, from the bottom. Just as it should be.

And I don’t think we’re missing much from getting to the top, to the point of believing in yourself. I think  all that we’re missing is that crucial little ‘in’.

I think the only reason we don’t believe in ourselves is because we believe ourselves too faithfully.

We believe ourselves on those weak moments at 3am when our only company is the still-blank Word document that has not blossomed words, not even after ten cups of coffee (and those two energy drinks). We believe that we can’t write then. And when it’s grim and rainy and gloomy we believe we carry that greyness on our face, when we tell to the mirror that we don’t look nice. We believe ourselves when we think we can’t sing or run or dance. When we think that we’re indecisive, awkward or a bit lazy.

We believe our inner-critic. And then we wonder why we don’t believe in ourselves.  But who would, who would believe in themselves whilst carrying a  nasty, judging troll inside their mind, one that always wants to start a mosh-pit of guilt in your head? One that never pipes down.

But to silence that inner-critic, I want to tell you:

Those are your beliefs. In fact, all the beliefs about you are yours. All of them. Even the stuff you think other people think about you. That is your beliefs too. The way you think others see you just reflects the way you see yourself.

So, next time someone says something hurtful to you,  you can choose if you let those words make you miserable. Because you have a choice. You don’t need to welcome those words, you don’t need to accept them in your heart anymore.

You’re only going to take that nasty blow of life to heart if you believe it, and only then can it knock your heart out. But if you accept yourself, if you change the way you “believe yourself”, if you question your beliefs and your inner-critic,  it is a whole new world. 

A world of love and bravery. A world of peace and acceptance. All inside you.

So start climbing that tree, even if you’re scared of heights. Because that is what you have waiting for you! Move from believing yourself into believing in yourself.

Come with me, I’m climbing. And I have messed up something as easy as Rice Krispie cakes. So if I can do it, so can you!

Do you want to see that world?

 

 

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4 Responses to “Believe in yourself? But how?”

  1. Edward Hotspur November 29, 2012 at 11:45 pm #

    Wow, nice inspiring post!

  2. jrwritesthings November 30, 2012 at 2:59 am #

    I like your climbing metaphor. You will inspire a great many with a post like this… yourself included, I hope! Fabulous work.

    • divinerush December 4, 2012 at 8:04 pm #

      I agree! Great post! 🙂

  3. Kitty Lou September 23, 2013 at 4:45 am #

    thanks for share^^!

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